My nose has caused trouble for me my entire life. As a young Jewish girl growing up in the suburbs of New Jersey, I was teased for having a big nose. John Cepparulo used to ask me, "Is that your nose or are you eating a banana?" I never did answer his question, but it occurs to me now, that as a young Italian boy, he also had a big nose. Perhaps that's why he noticed my prominent shnozz.
As I got older, my nose developed a large bump and wide nostrils. Not too attractive. I decided to forgo a high school trip to Israel in favor of a nose job. A great gift for a nice Jewish girl. I flaunted my bandages and black eyes and even have a picture of my bruised face, flipping the finger to the camera.
After getting a nose job, you never quite regain feeling inside your nose. I have to do booger checks quite often with a tiny hand mirror I keep in my purse.
As I get older the pores on my nose are getting large and dark. Gross. I didn't really notice this until I was on T.V. Kevin was working for The Geraldo Rivera Show and I was in a reenactment about a woman who allegedly killed her boyfriend, and then called a radio station to brag about it. There were a few close ups of my face talking on my cell phone and I was horrified to see my disgusting pores magnified on television!
I had also developed a small red spot right on the end of my nose after years of sun exposure. It looked like a zit, but it wasn't. I used to cover it with makeup, but decided after years of carrying around this tiny dot, to have a dermatologist look at it. On the day Kevin planned to have a release party for his new book, the doctor sliced off the end of my nose and put a circular band-aid on the end of it. I was horrified! I had to go to a party with all of Kevin's friends with a band-aid on the end of my nose? I tried about five different shapes and sizes of band-aids, and finally settled on a flesh colored rectangular bandage. Luckily, my sister-in-law Lola photo shopped it out of the pictures from that night.
Now I have an infection in my nose. My entire nose is swollen, red and painful. It's bleeding and oozing and even my doctor doesn't really know what's wrong with me. My nose is a pain in the ass! Some days I wish my most prominent feature would just disappear.
2 comments:
You could ask Michael Jackson what it's like to have a nose disappear. I don't think it's all it's cracked up to be. ;) I enjoyed reading your last few posts. Amusing, fun, and likable. Thanks!
Fantastic blog and great writing! I waited until I was in my mid 20's to have a nose job, at first I rejected the idea, because so many kids in my school had it done, and I didn't want to be like those kids, they were really spoiled kids who expected a nose job without thinking about it twice. I was glad I did it on my own terms, but I remember that because I did this at an older age, my friends reactions were stronger (of course, all the friends with perfect noses were so mad at me for doing this!). My only problem is that after all of these years, I think that my nose is growing back! At this point in life, that's ok, though, I can live with it. Keep on writing, Brooklyn Mabel, I love reading your blog!
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