The Safety Dance

I was just reading an article in the New York Times about a woman who was visiting her family in Karachi, Pakistan during the time that Benazir Bhutto was assassinated. She writes about a friend she had known all her life who was arrested at a protest. The only reason that the author was not arrested as well, was that she had been at the beach that day.

The article really made me think about what we take for granted in the United States. I can't stand our materialistic, celebrity-driven, intellectually-deprived culture, but there are times when I appreciate living here.

As an undergraduate at Penn State University in the mid-80's, I lived with Nooshin, an Iranian girl who was getting a degree in Architectural Engineering. Nooshin and her friends seemed so exotic to me, a suburban girl from New Jersey. I loved hanging out with them. I always felt different, like a third wheel, but I liked her friends, and they didn't mind my company.

Not everyone at Penn State enjoyed the presence of the foreign students. Many students made racist remarks about the Iranians, and called the local Iranian run convenience store Irani-Mart instead of Uni-Mart. Those remarks made me angry and I would try to think of something smart or clever to refute these comments. I never had a quick comeback, but I did tell some people that they were being small-minded and racist.

Nooshin's parents were wealthy Iranians, and they had sent her to boarding school when she was about 13 years old. She hadn't seen her parents or her brother since she left Iran.

At the time, I thought about how difficult it must have been to be away from her family for so long. She didn't have anyone helping her through life; she had to figure things out for herself. She seemed older and more mature then I did. I still depended on my parents and older sister to help me find my way in the world.

Nooshin was afraid for her family's safety, as they were wealthy and educated, and now that the Ayatollah had taken over after the fall of the Shah, they were in danger.

Nooshin showed me her passport picture, in which she was wearing a chodor. She was embarrassed by the picture, and she told me that she dressed differently when she was growing up. She said that now, you could be arrested for wearing lipstick. I couldn't imagine that. Nooshin was always so stylish, and always wearing lipstick.

She also said that there were spies at Penn State who listened to what the Iranian students were saying about the government. I couldn't believe what she was saying. There were spies here? In the middle of white bread Pennsylvania?

Nooshin met another Iranian student, Shariar, and they started dating. He seemed very sexist and demanding compared to American boys. Nooshin fell in love with him, and I later heard that they got married. Nooshin and Shariar were both on student visas, so they continued to get advanced degrees so they wouldn't be sent back to Iran.

When I saw the movie "Persepolis," about a young girl growing up during the Iranian revolution, I thought about Nooshin and her family.

I hope that they are safe and, hopefully, still wearing lipstick.